Archive link https://archive.ph/vOdxj

That reminds me of a line I like from a friend who is a GP: “We’re responsible for a patient’s healthcare, not their health”. I found the distinction interesting, because I hadn’t considered it before.

Hedgehogs are far less common than they used to be, unfortunately. I haven’t seen one for years. A friend who lives in a more suburban area has one living under their shed, and she (the hedgehog) is such a creature of routine that my friend’s family will often gather near the window to watch her potter around on her nightly walk

Compost the rich

I second the sentiment. You and other frequent posters of delightful posts help this place to feel more like a community. It’s also nice because you make me reflect on my own online presence in a manner that provides a positive pressure to be the kind of person I value in my community; I see usernames like yours crop up again and again, and when I find myself noticing that organically, it makes me wonder what kinds of patterns people notice across my own comments — it’s introspective, but in a good way

This really made me smile, because it made me think of some of my most cherished friendships.

For much of my life, I felt it necessary to dampen my authentic self, because I felt like I would inevitably be “too much” for people. Nowadays, I privileged to know people who match my energy and then some

Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope

I sometimes forget that I’m painting and get paint on my face.

I also do a lot of staring into the distance, though it’s usually a more frowny kind of focus than dreamy.

I also have ADHD. Both of these are my ADHD

I’m a big fan of fishnet stockings — ones that require a suspender belt, not hold-ups (Ideally a good suspender belt has 6 (ideally metal clips). The reason for this is that if you put your underwear on over the suspender belt, it makes it way more easier to go to the toilet because you don’t have to disrupt your stockings at all (and pulling tights up and down always contributes to ladders and tears, in my experience, especially with fishnets).

Another perk is that it makes it easier to cycle through damaged fishnets. You can get away with some holes in fishnet tights^[1] or stockings (and depending on how punk one’s aesthetic is, some damage may improve the vibe ), but eventually they’ll get too torn up and need to be disposed of. With stockings, if one of them gets damaged, I can just throw that one away. If I start with a few pairs of the same stockings, they seem to last longer than the equivalent number of pairs of tights.

[1]: Though actually, if you think about it, damaging fishnet tights actually causes there to be fewer holes. Philosoraptor.jpeg

Whilst I understand the sentiment, I gotta respect someone who is unashamedly embracing their id and chasing that dopamine rush

I might try that. I’ve not heard about sugar waxing before

I would press the button because I’d be super curious at how strong the shock would be. My guess would be that it would be quite a mild shock, because it wouldn’t have gotten past the ethics committee if it was going to cause harm to the average person. That curiosity would lead me to press it at least once.

But also a big aspect that I feel they’re not considering in their conclusion is that agency plays a huge role. When I was a kid, my brother was curious about what it was like to use my uncle’s diabetes blood glucose monitor, and my uncle offered him the chance to try it.

After my brother and my mom tried it, they asked if I wanted to try and I was not keen, because I don’t like needles. My brother then tried to force me to have my finger pricked, and I became increasingly upset at the coercion (and the threat of physical force). My mom thought that my reaction was disproportionate, and asked why I was making such a big fuss when it barely hurt at all. Being forced to do something is so much worse than having the freedom to choose to do it to yourself.

It’s like forcing a cat into a box. If you just leave the box out, there’s a decent likelihood the cat will sit in the box of its own accord. If you try to force the cat into the box, then you will likely not escape unscathed. Choice matters.

I’m in this image, and whether I like it is irrelevant because I have fully committed to the bit.

This is one of the examples that came to mind for me when it comes to ‘mixture of both’.

I have a bunch of disabilities that are nowhere near the scale that you describe, but often I feel so demoralised by how hard it is to exist as a disabled person that I want to die. But my resistance is galvanised by knowing that the people and the systems that would most benefit from my death are the ones who are making things harder for me, and people like me. Is it sustainable to continue living out of spite? Probably not, but it’s not just spite that keeps me going, but solidarity with other disabled people, and people who are marginalised by society in other ways too.

It sucks to be disabled. Even if society were radically different and far kinder than it currently is, it would still suck to be disabled. However, so much of my suffering is based in the world rather than my disability. Recently, for example, I had a meltdown because I was on holiday and the venue had described itself as being wheelchair accessible. It was not. When I complained that they shouldn’t list this as being the case if they’re not, this caused great offence. We found somewhere else to stay that night, and I later broke down at how fucked up it is that there’s more social stigma around being thought of as ableist than actually being ableist. Travelling with mobility problems is hard, but it would be way easier if there were less “compassion theatre”, where people want to appear accepting but are so deeply uncomfortable with thinking about disability and disabled people that they don’t meaningfully engage with accessibility issues.

My theory is that disability makes people feel uncomfortable because it reminds them of their own mortality. Being able-bodied is a temporary state, and that scares people. It means that a person like me merely existing at all is an act of rebellion and activism. I deeply wish that this weren’t so, because it’s so much work on top of the additional effort it takes to exist with a broken body, but besides dying, I can’t really opt out of that work — and if I did opt out in that manner, the work would still need to be done by the people who are just as tired and burnt out as I am. If being alive is an act of resistance, then I reckon that if I hold out as long as I can, I might be able to make the journey a little easier for those around me, or those who come after me. If I had to answer your question with respect to my current circumstances, I’d say that no, I don’t want to live. But I do anyway, out of defiance.

I reckon the same logic would resonate with me even if my needs were more significant. Hell, part of what led me to develop the views I currently hold is by being in community with disabled people whose lived experience is not far from what you describe. I have a lot more in common with them than it might seem at first glance, and that understanding gave me a lot of strength. It may well be a foolish hope, but if enough people push for change, then maybe we can build a world where fewer disabled people feel that death is preferable to life.

Here’s an image that captures my sentiment effectively, and has literally saved my life before: “I’m fucking fed up and tired and I want to die but living is the most punk shit I’ve ever fucking done”

I bought this game on a whim after reading that the devs had said they’d rather people pirate it than have it spoiled for them. I don’t usually buy games full price, so this was a rare thing for me, but I have no regrets; it was one of my favourite games of that year.

I just love how ripe for thematic analysis it is. For example, I’m a woman who has read a bunch of feminist and queer theory, and some of my interpretations of the themes were drastically different to a friend’s. I found it really cool that I didn’t necessarily disagree with their takes, nor they mine, but we both resonated with the game is strong but different ways

It does work, but because the antibodies wear off over time, it’s necessary to regularly repeat the treatment. This is, in fact, a key driver of the success of Grindr

I agree with you. I think that what most people think of as “objectivity” isn’t a thing that exists in reality, but as an ideal that we can strive towards. In practice, there is no neutral journalism — especially in this topic, my instinct is to be extra cautious of pieces that appear objective at first glance.

The piece you shared is a good example of how the bias in reporting can be found both in the micro-level prose, and the macro level framing of the piece (in this case, the macro framing being that the killing of journalists sets a scary precedent).