Ananääs

I probably would end up in a limbo getting splashed by Magikarp

Being ND it feels that my senses are already too much sometimes and they become even more amplified by the amount of stress I experience. Honestly I’d rather have the option to decrease the intensity of sensory experiences than increase it. 😅

There are various factors that increase the risk of course, but according to the doctors for a person this young the exposure is not the reason for getting sick. Epigenetics could be the reason for the increase in young people’s mouth cancers as epigenetic changes in genes can transmit across generations, meaning it’s possible that, for example, environmental exposure that occurred in one generation, could be transmitted even further beyond their children and grandchildren.

Yup. My SO got mouth cancer a couple years back in their early 30’s, even though the operation was succesful and chemo & radiation worked and they’ll be considered cancer-free in about 9 months, the fact that it happened so early means it’s quite likely they’ll get it again. How does one live with that information? And as a partner how do I build my life around it? Of course it’s possible they’ll never get that shit again, but it would be foolish to not prepare ourselves mentally for the worst. If it’s around the head they can’t get more radiation. If it’s in the same place than the previous one they’d would probably lose their ability speak, eat properly etc. The chemo probably made them infertile so if we’d like to have biological childer we have just a couple years to make the decision, and I have restrictions about that so we’d have to look for other opportunities anyways, and we should start looking for them now but we * can’t *. If we move elsewhere, as we’d like to, the chances are they won’t get as good treatment as here. I don’t feel like I’m ready to consider all this in my mid 30’s while I’m still trying to find my place in the world. So yeah, fuck cancer.

I’m usually grumpy in the morning and feeling rarher down until 15-16, after that my mood gets a lot better, evenings and night time is best for me. If I have to wake up really early I feel just empty.

Elvanse can make the afternoon crash worse and it also causes a depression hour at around 17, I’ve tried taking half the dose in the morning and half mid-day and it seems to help with the crashes but it also makes the quality of my sleep worse…

Or “plaa-plaa-plaa”

The last encounter with Alexander the Warrior Jar in Elden Ring made me cry. What a brave jar and a good friend.

I think I might’ve cried for other reasons too when playing Elden Ring. :')