Picture him in his trophy room, basking in his own imagined glory, mentally masturbating himself over the senseless killing of a completely innocent creature.

Nah, I’m good.

Couldn’t hear the TV over my crunchy snacks

Nah, I agree with you. While it definitely has a “teen romance drama” vibe, anon’s list just boils down to “I want to be loved” (and who doesn’t?). Sure, it might not be realistic, and it could be unhealthy if those are the expectations they hold for a real partner 24/7. But as a daydream? We’ve all had those dramatic, impractical fantasies. Entire media franchises are built on this kind of wish fulfillment, and plenty of people who enjoy them still have perfectly healthy relationships.

Clearly you just failed to grasp Jesus’s message. And truly I say unto you, there shall be no pizza but through him, and occasionally at work to prevent unions from being discussed.