“Everything not saved will be lost”
— Nintendo Wii’s quit screen
Ironic Fun Fact: It's actually 'Anything not saved will be lost'.
“Ahh, Kos, or some say Kosm… Do you hear our prayers? As you once did for the vacuous Rom, Grant us eyes, grant us eyes. Plant eyes on our brains, to cleanse our beastly idiocy.”
Micolash in Bloodborne
Username checks out
All your base are belong to us.
You are on the way to destruction.
You have no chance to survive make your time.
“He who controls the past, commands the future. He who commands the future, conquers the past.” - Kane, Command & Conquer
Kane of course was just paraphrasing 1984.
“Here come the test results: ‘You are a horrible person’. That’s what it says, ‘a horrible person’. We weren’t even testing for that!”
“Oh, It’s you.”
Never thought a robot could throw so much shade with just three words.
Portal was my first thought too!
Ah shit here we go again.
License A-4
FAIL
insert Yello - Oh Yeah playing
- Gran Turismo 4
“Well, This is the part where he kills us.”
“Hello. This is the part where I kill you.”
CHAPTER 9: THE PART WHERE HE KILLS YOU
Achievement Unlocked: The part where he kills you
<The part where he kills you music plays in backround>
Good god what an incredible sequence that was to play through for the first time. I was so busy laughing that it was, in fact, the part where he killed me.
i need to play portal 2 again
This was a triumph
I’m making a note here, “Huge success”
It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction
Aperture Science
We do what we must because we can
For the good of all of us, except the ones who are deadAlright, I’ve been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I’m going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
I wonder ehat Cave Johnson would make of Slug from Atmosphere’s line “When life hands you lemons you paint that shit gold”.
GOOSE 3 DOWN!!
GOOSE 3 DOWN!!
It is payday.
Anything Glados from Portal 1/2–still one of very, very few games to actually make me laugh. But also the Cave Johnson “when life gives you lemons” rant comes to mind, because it’s both funny and poignant.
Everything in Portal 2 is gold, but if you shout out both GladOs AND Cave, I feel like Wheatley deserves a mention as well.
“Most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you’ve been under for… quite a lot longer, and it’s not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage. But don’t be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.”
Yes, I honestly can’t believe I didn’t mention him. It’s really a testament to what a fucking gem that game is. God. So much greatness packed into such a short time.
Favorite Glados ones:
- “We both said a lot of things that you’re going to regret.”
- “That thing you burned up isn’t important to me; it’s the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It makes shoes for orphans… Nice job breaking it, hero.”
And Cave Johnson:
- “When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons! Demand to see life’s manager!”
- “Science isn’t about why. It’s about why not.”
Had to look it up to refresh my memory:
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“Nice job breaking it, hero.”
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“You are not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don’t get up here.”
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“Here come the test results: You are a horrible person. We weren’t even testing for that.”
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“Congratulations on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.”
You really need the full 2-minute audio of the lemons bit to get the gist. J.K. Simmons did an amazing job balancing funny and, “oh shit, am I…sad???..during the silly, funny puzzle game!?”
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You might also enjoy The Stanley Parable, it’s a very similar kind of humor, I recommend going in blind, as the game is a lot about exploring watching a funny dialogue in a video removes the fun out of it being a reaction to something you did.
“Snake? Snake? Snaaaaaaaaaaaaake!”
“The skins of those you love will fly as my banner.”
Molag Bal is a meanie.
