The FDA is warning the public not to eat, sell or serve certain Great Value raw frozen shrimp sold at Walmart due to possible contamination with Cesium-137.
especially if it’s this supershrimp, you know, the one with 18 eyes ? strikes its claws at 20% the speed of light ? creating a vacuum fronted by a blinding plasma bubble, turning everything in its vicinity into shrimp-flavoured ash ?? ring a bell ??
Fuck that, go Pistol shrimp. It can clap it’s claw so hard it sending out a blinding jet of plasma, and a directed shockwave which can stun nearby fish. Pistol shrimp make enough noise that nuclear submarines use them to hide from passive sonar.
You’ve seen the Peacock Mantish shrimp with his rock em sock em bopper of doom, but are you ready for Spear Mantis Shrimp, which have a motherfucking HARPOON instead of bashers?!
Fuck you, I want shrimp powers
especially if it’s this supershrimp, you know, the one with 18 eyes ? strikes its claws at 20% the speed of light ? creating a vacuum fronted by a blinding plasma bubble, turning everything in its vicinity into shrimp-flavoured ash ?? ring a bell ??
Mantis shrimp
yes !! that’s the one
But there’s already a hero called Mantis
Fuck that, go Pistol shrimp. It can clap it’s claw so hard it sending out a blinding jet of plasma, and a directed shockwave which can stun nearby fish. Pistol shrimp make enough noise that nuclear submarines use them to hide from passive sonar.
holy shit, it’s my new favourite
But wait, there’s more!
You’ve seen the Peacock Mantish shrimp with his rock em sock em bopper of doom, but are you ready for Spear Mantis Shrimp, which have a motherfucking HARPOON instead of bashers?!
next you’re going to tell me the harpoon is supersonic ??
It doesn’t need to be.
Oh no! We’re trapped in this submarine! Who could possibly defend us???!!!
Me! El Shrimp Man!..Radio active!
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