cross-posted from: https://pawb.social/post/37056794
i tend to be a bit of a yapper, very loud (theres an interesting reverse-masking thing going on there, which if anyones interested, lmk and ill explain) and tend to be quite rude.
really inside, im a quiet person, but i tend to impulsively speak and be loud, and say things i dont really want to say, e.g. being rude.
these are things i really want to deal with. when i talk less, and be quieter like i am inside, i tend to be much happier. does anyone have any tips?
Assessing the value of a statement before you say it helps you make significantly better impressions. Other people do this too, they just don’t have the same impulse on the time scale they’re allowed to think about it. Fundamentally you just have to force yourself to do it and then observe the benefits in your social life.
Yapping is a good trait if the value of what you’re saying is appreciated and if you’re showing that you’re still engaged with the entirety of others’ statements.
I also talk too much, especially when I’m anxious/nervous, struggle with silence when I’m with other people, and I’m too loud. It sucks but i don’t really know how to stop the nervous chatter and i can’t judge what’s the right volume. Appreciate your post and the responses.
I thought the title was about a dog lol
Are you autistic and /or have ADHD? It is possible that medications may help with some of this.
yes i do have adhd, hence the crosspost! i coulda specified 😅 unfortunately my mum wont let me get medication :/ and im a bit worried theyll reduce the parts of me i do like too lol
Oh, man, no. Meds merely help you to manage the impulses.
Parents that deny their kids meds (in ignorance) really piss me off.
I’m probably your grandparents age, I’ve seen this nonsense a lot in my own family.
Meds are like crutches when you have a cast on - they help you with impulse control so you then have brain cycles to dedicare to learning new ways of thinking/processing.
yeah they sound really good, i struggle with pills for a few reasons but those reasons would be worth getting over imo, but i dont even get the chance
I have a friend who got diagnosed with ADHD and first received meds as an adult. They are definitely 100 % themselves and at the same time better functioning than before. Talk with your parents (or directly with your doctor). You will always start with a low dose with regular checkups. Have an honest conversation with yourself, your parents and your doctor about what you really are afraid of and if the risk has any basis in reality.
my parents just wont let me anyway :/ im trying to consider alternatives until im old enough to make the decision myself
I know several people who take ADHD meds, and they help a lot. I don’t know what to say if you aren’t old enough to make that decision. Maybe convince your mother that your symptoms are causing you problems. Good luck, friend.
unfortunately, asking never goes well, i try to be verynice about it but mum just wont let me, so i always have to find alternative coping mechanisms
Meditation/mindfulness may assist you.
Mindfulness is the practice of paying full, non-judgmental attention to the present moment—your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and surroundings—to cultivate awareness and reduce stress. It’s a skill developed through techniques like meditation (body scans, breathing focus) that helps you respond less reactively to life, improving focus, emotional regulation, and overall well-being, with benefits for anxiety, pain, and stress, but it’s not about eliminating negative feelings.
Here is one of many mindfulness meditation videos on YouTube.
maybe i should really try to get into doing that, i struggled with it so i tended to lose motivation but if its gonna help me with this its worth doing
If you get distracted while meditating, notice it and move on. Also, try to keep from being hard on yourself/beating yourself up.
Being loud !== being rude. I would separate and address those concerns individually.
they are seperate issues yes, sorry if it seemed like i was lumping them together
No worries at all!
(theres an interesting reverse-masking thing going on there, which if anyones interested, lmk and ill explain)
I’ll bite!
pre covid, i was a (very young, just at a local kids stage school) theatre kid. i was naturally loud and yappy, quite stereotypical really. over covid, butmainly after around 2023-2024 has been an extremely big point for the development of my personality
now, i was used to people seeing this loud and frankly annoying version of me, and i was used to being it, so i end up reverse-masking bif thatmakes sense because people can be very judgemental to me of any change (and my family wonders why i dont tell them about things lol)
so habitually, i continue to be loud and annoying
Were you infected with covid? That could have changed something. Also do you mean something like compulsive talking?
yes it can be very similar to that sometimes!
i did get covid (thrice) but this happened a while after even the last infection, i think its just been a very developmntal couple of years either way and ive learned lots about myself
