Hey Anon, you did great!
In this situation, as in many in life, Judo rules apply: Go with the punch, don’t push against it.
This was a win, you just need to recognize it as that.- you proved yourself that you have lots of courage
- you were not a creep when talking to a stranger
- you dodged a bullet with that woman.
- you tried something new. (might not have worked out at the first try, but can’t really expect to be that lucky)
keep it up, don’t lose heart, you’ll find your match.
Great comment, cold approaching in any situation can be intimidating but at the end of the day the worst that can happen is they say “no”. And then you can go home and get high or drunk or whatever and not care. Each rejection hurts a little less each time.
I mean, better solution is to go hang with your friends and commiserate. Which, imo, is always something dating advice seems to avoid talking about. Dating is hard. Having a solid social support system to pick you back up again is crucial.
That’s when you go “Oh Okay, I can see why your single” and walk away like a boss
Now we know why she’s single
Dodged a bullet.
I assumed they laughed at her because she actually IS that desperate but in denial about it.
The amount of people that assume laughter is directed at them in a scenario like this instead of the friend or even just a reaction to something uncomfortable is too high.
Remember boys: greentext is made up and didn’t happen.
You can’t be the victim and a Victor, you made your choice.
Nah but for real if some random stranger at a bar overheard me saying I’m single and then came up to me and my friends like that I would be a little creeped out too.
I wouldn’t be mean about it, but I definitely wouldn’t say yes.
This is definitely one of those ‘creepy if ugly’ moments. If he was a handsome guy, it would be romantic and has almost definitely happened in a million Hallmark movies.
Listening in on conversations is creepy, no matter how good-looking a person is.
And that stuff happens in movies doesn’t mean it isn’t creepy in real-life.
Not really. If you were discussing with somebody about some terminal illness you were raising money for and somebody approached and said: “Sorry, but I overheard what you said and I’d love to donate, if that’s okay” that would not be creepy in the slightest.
There is a difference between ‘overhearing’ and ‘purposefully spying’
Well, OP wasn’t donating money, was he?
The scenario you brought up would be creepy too, but people tend to value money over the slight discomfort of creepiness.
In what world is it creepy to overhear somebody saying something in a public place? Have you ever been in a social situation before?
In what world is it not creepy to butt into some strangers’ personal conversation after overhearing details that were clearly not addressed to you?
Have you ever been in a social situation before?
You are probably not wrong, super attractive people can get away with cringy things. Wouldn’t be a good strategy for an average looking person, however.
Handsome/Ugly is in the eye of the person, remember. Just because one person found you not attractive, doesn’t mean they all do.
Fuck Hallmark movies, Don’t make me vomit
Of course everyone is entitled to have their own opinion of what is beautiful. But there are some pretty obvious statistical convergences.
Sure, but personally, I don’t give a fuck about that. I don’t find conventionally attractive people, good looking. They don’t do it for me. And If I, just one person feels this way, and I’ve met other’s like this too, there must be more.
Just tryin to put that beacon of hope out.
Sure. But I think it is better to set realistic expectations. After all, it you don’t expect much, then you won’t feel so bad when it doesn’t manifest. With false hope, you are crushed each time your hopes don’t meet reality. In the long run, realistic expectations serve us better because we can see how our efforts lead us to the results we desire.
This isn’t to say that conventionally unattractive people should give up all hope and dispair. It just means they should temper their expectations relative to their more attractive counterparts, and should focus on things which are within their circle of control, like fitness, grooming, style, lifestyle, mindset, and number of people talked to.
Both those things, saving hope, while going into things with no expectations or “realistic” expectations are both very compatible.
You can have realistic hope. It’s exactly as you describe in your second paragraph. Good stuff.
“Hello, Human Resources??”
If he was handsome it would still be creepy
It’s not so much creepy if ugly, so much as creepy if not confident.
And the way to become confident in something is to do it a bunch of times.
Lesson being, it’s okay if someone thinks you’re creepy. You’re just in the process of developing a new skill.
Impossible. It’s the females!
*insert Skinner meme*
Not even if I was a two headed Brad Pitt with the body of the strongest Chris?
Sounds to me like you just dodged a bullet, mate.
Absolutely. Anyone willing to treat a stranger this way is unequivocally a shitbag.
She will die alone, whether she is married or not.
i’ve rejected plenty of women. i’ve never mocked them while doing it. it’s not hard to reject people politely.
i also used to get rejected politely… but i’ll admit that the past few years people have started rejecting me really rudely. for some reason post pandemic a lot of people entitled to be a raging assholes.
Going to a bar to meet someone was the first problem. It’s far better to try to meet people in public places that don’t involve alcohol, drugs and loud music.
Uh, maybe bars work differently in your neck of the woods, but that sounds more like a nightclub to me. Alcohol in reasonable amounts - sure, but I generally wouldn’t expect either drugs or loud music in any bar around here.
I mean, considering there’s a 100% chance this is just a fantasy in anon’s head I’d say she dodged a bullet.
What makes you think that the girl is even real?
What makes you think that girls are even real?
First the birds, then the girls?
Everyone on the internet is either a man or a dog.
not true, some of us are cats
** Meow **
woof
Nice try. We know you’re a frog!
Im a cat :3
You son of a removed, I’m in.
Well, I’m taking estrogen, so they’re about to become real
If you can’t get a big tiddy goth gf, become the big tiddy goth gf.
Hmmm… I remember an old lesson from the ancient times of the Internet, now long forgotten:
“Girl” is an acronym for “Guy In Real Life”.
Checkmate; girls are a social construct!
What makes you think?
Tits or gtfo
Well played
Chatbots would have strung him along for at least the subscription fee.
No wonder she’s single.
“Sorry, from across the bar I couldn’t see how ugly your personality was. It all makes sense now.”
Worst she can do is say “no”
Thats why she cant find a man! Lesson here dont approach women that say “they cant find a man” there is a reason they cant find a man and you should believe her. What you did was courageous and this shouldn’t stop you from trying in the future.
Thats why she cant find a man!
I read about a guy on a website who just trolled bars for hours at a time, eavesdropping on every conversation between anyone he considered remotely attractive. At the slightest hint of desperation, he would run up to a table and announce “I am a single man! Please date me! I will feed you dinner and then we can be together!”
He is the most successful anon in history. Goes on dates every single day of his life. Little black book contains hundreds of phone numbers from women desperate for a second chance at him. But he doesn’t stop. One Date Only, that’s his policy. He’s just too much of a hot commodity to deprive the rest of the Femoid Race of his charms.
This is the real reason OP’s story is about a woman who is single.
Is he called Ataru Moroboshi by any chance? Xd
Or she’s just unlucky. Or has some other understandable and solveable problem in her life. Lesson is, just approach anyone you find hot. If they reject you, that’s fine. If you find you don’t like them and reject them later, that’s fine too. Most people aren’t “bad”, and rejection isn’t bad either - it is simply the process by which people figure out who they are compatible with. It sure doesn’t feel good - but the one thing that is sure to stunt your progress in finding partners is avoiding things that are uncomfortable
Lesson here: definitely take away life lessons from a greentext
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